Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Robert Knapp "Most hated Kid in School" report finds.
The entire year six class, everyone from Ashley Amberson to James Zoellner, hates Robert Knapp, sources at Whitchurch County Primary School revealed Tuesday.
"The popular kids, the nerds, even the disgusting one with the snotty nose and the lisp—they all hate that little sh*t," Social Worker Lisa Harcourt told reporters Tuesday. "The consensus? Robert Knapp is a child dumbass."
Knapp, who runs really slow, is rubbish at football, and forgets his schoolwork at home practically every other day, has been despised for as long as anyone at the school can remember. Playground rumours are also that he has fleas.
"Last year, in Mrs. Swanson's class, Tim Ball was in the bathroom with Robert Knapp," student Paul Derrick said. "Well, Tim pushed Robert, and Robert’s hand went right into the toilet. But Robert didn't even take his hand out! He just kept it in there for, like, forever."
"He started crying, too," Derrick added.
Students forced to stand next to Knapp during school dinners will often leave a four-foot gap between themselves and Knapp in an effort to avoid association with the undesirable ten year old the report indicated. Similarly, no one wants to sit with Knapp on the bus, pick him for a playground football team, or collaborate with him in any class, for any reason, ever.
"I'm not going to share a xylaphone with Robert Knapp," Rebecca Sloyan said during music class Monday. "I'm not. I'll go to the nurse's office if [music teacher] Mrs. Cook tries to make me."
"At the Christmas Concert last year, I had to hold hands with Robert Knapp, so I pulled my sleeve all the way down, so I wouldn't have to touch him," said classmate Clare Evans, commiserating with Sloyan. "He didn't even sing. He just stood there breathing really heavy. And he had a cold sore on his lip that started bleeding, because he kept licking it. And he was wearing sandals, even though Mrs. Cook said 'no sandals.'"
Although Knapp is in year six, students in years four and five, who encounter him on the playground and during field trips also hate him.
"Remember the time Robert Knapp threw up when we went to Cirencester?" said Jen Welsby, of Mrs. Black’s class. "It was so gross. I hate him."
"I hate him, too," said classmate Kevin Clark, making a sour face.
"Me, too," added classmate James Drum.
Harcourt couldn't find one student who would admit to liking Knapp, who is also known as Robert Krapp, Robert Nappy, and Fleabag.
"Robert Knapp nose is always so full of snot that you can hardly understand what he's saying," Harcourt said. "He talks like this: 'Mmr mmr mmr. I'm Robert Knapp.'" .
"The popular kids, the nerds, even the disgusting one with the snotty nose and the lisp—they all hate that little sh*t," Social Worker Lisa Harcourt told reporters Tuesday. "The consensus? Robert Knapp is a child dumbass."
Knapp, who runs really slow, is rubbish at football, and forgets his schoolwork at home practically every other day, has been despised for as long as anyone at the school can remember. Playground rumours are also that he has fleas.
"Last year, in Mrs. Swanson's class, Tim Ball was in the bathroom with Robert Knapp," student Paul Derrick said. "Well, Tim pushed Robert, and Robert’s hand went right into the toilet. But Robert didn't even take his hand out! He just kept it in there for, like, forever."
"He started crying, too," Derrick added.
Students forced to stand next to Knapp during school dinners will often leave a four-foot gap between themselves and Knapp in an effort to avoid association with the undesirable ten year old the report indicated. Similarly, no one wants to sit with Knapp on the bus, pick him for a playground football team, or collaborate with him in any class, for any reason, ever.
"I'm not going to share a xylaphone with Robert Knapp," Rebecca Sloyan said during music class Monday. "I'm not. I'll go to the nurse's office if [music teacher] Mrs. Cook tries to make me."
"At the Christmas Concert last year, I had to hold hands with Robert Knapp, so I pulled my sleeve all the way down, so I wouldn't have to touch him," said classmate Clare Evans, commiserating with Sloyan. "He didn't even sing. He just stood there breathing really heavy. And he had a cold sore on his lip that started bleeding, because he kept licking it. And he was wearing sandals, even though Mrs. Cook said 'no sandals.'"
Although Knapp is in year six, students in years four and five, who encounter him on the playground and during field trips also hate him.
"Remember the time Robert Knapp threw up when we went to Cirencester?" said Jen Welsby, of Mrs. Black’s class. "It was so gross. I hate him."
"I hate him, too," said classmate Kevin Clark, making a sour face.
"Me, too," added classmate James Drum.
Harcourt couldn't find one student who would admit to liking Knapp, who is also known as Robert Krapp, Robert Nappy, and Fleabag.
"Robert Knapp nose is always so full of snot that you can hardly understand what he's saying," Harcourt said. "He talks like this: 'Mmr mmr mmr. I'm Robert Knapp.'" .
// posted by Chase @ 1/18/2005 09:55:00 am 
