Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nigerian Billionaire ‘frustrated’ by UK cynicism.

Clement Okom, a Nigerian businessman has complained of ‘a saddening culture of cynicism’ in the UK, as his attempts to move money out of the country failed on Friday.

Mr Okom, a wealthy businessman, and member of the Nigerian Civil Service, was looking for a British bank account in which to transfer over $21,000,000 for a period of two months. He was willing to pay the intermediary 10% of the final fee. The reasons for the transaction are as yet unclear, but Mr Okon assured us it was “something to do with the military”.

However, Mr Okom has been surprised by the low response from UK residents in taking him up on his offer. After sending over 200 emails to carefully selected individuals, he received only one response, which turned out to be from an intoxicated student with a hotmail account.

“I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING” said Mr Okon, “ALL I AM WANTING TO DO IS THE CONFIDENT TRANSFER OF US$21,000,300 (TWENTY ONE MILLION AND THREE HUNDRED U.S. DOLLARS) INTO THE ACCOUNT OF A TRUSTED AND HONOURED FORIEGN COLLEAGUE.”

After the deadline for the transfer passed last Friday, Mr Okon has had to allow the sum to pass directly to the Nigerian military, with little to no record of what it will be spent on, leaving Mr Okon with only his large inheritance to pass on to a deserving UK charity.

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